Toughness up North #3

(The Door)

Now the door could only protect if you knew harm was approaching and to let it in would forever change your view of the world. I felt safe knowing I even at my age had the ability to say yes or no to someone coming into my safety haven, but what happens when evil portrays itself as someone you can trust?

The introduction of my mother’s second husband was one of okay, this guy is alright. But alcohol, is never the cure of what ails you it only masks your evil if what you hide is anger. For my mother who had left her home-Alabama to create a better life for herself at twenty-one, I am sure never assumed domestic violence would be a chapter in her story. Here is what could have happened, my mother could have lost her life in that basement that I feared, but what did happen is twenty-one stab wounds, and her life being spared one night when that stranger within her husband was released. So although that door of security kept out those clear and present dangers, but how does one discover evil that appears kind and caring?

Forgiveness of my mother’s abuser was hard and to remember this part of my life is not easy, but it has had a profound effect on how I deal with a man’s anger. I will never allow a man to think I am afraid of him because fear was a down fall I feel my mother possessed. I just have to keep forgiveness at the forefront of my mind, so I can continue on this journey of self-growth so I can help someone else find their way through some of life’s disappointments. I hope you continue to walk with me on my journey of self-awareness.

Copyright 2017 Pew Partners/ P.M. Mathis

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Toughness up North #2

(The Porches)

The porches were my outlet for the creative side to offset the fears that consumed the mind of a child. Because of the security of our home, in the summer we (my cousin, who is four months older, and I) were allowed to camp on the front porch. Although there were so many instances where safety was an issue, being able to have the opportunity to camp outside was a treat not that I feel that way as an adult though. You probably wonder does this lady still have her spark of imaginative creativity, why yes, I do which is evident I hope in the repainting my childhood for you. To gaze up at the sky at night was magical not that stargazing was necessary an option with all the street lights, but being outside did lend to creating a mindset of adventurous living.

I could leap tall buildings in my mind, at times I actually could, off the back porch (what thought became my reality) it did allow me to jump onto the roof of a storage building in the back yard. I know you might think really this noncountry girl actually use to like the outdoors? The answer would be, yes, and don’t forget about climbing fences and playing in the dirt to create my own special brand of the pie. To offset fear you must create a “you” that whether imaginative or for reals can defeat the dragon while creating your escape route which I have done through my writing. Now onto the final piece of the pizza pie, the security that housed my fears and joys as a young person the heavy wood and iron door that was the protection against seen and unseen occurrences. I am sure you won’t want to miss the conclusion to know a part of your local indie author, so stay tuned.

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Toughness Up North

My inspiration for this piece is the show Wahlburgers the reality show that takes place and is location live centered on Dorchester, MA. I feel somewhat home sick even though I am thirty-one years removed from home. Just the fact of feeling you cannot go home again makes me long for the sights and sounds that my childhood centered around. I will only give three episodes from my childhood because I know you have other things you want to get involved in today. I am honored though you want to know about little old’ me. Well, I was born in 1971. Oh wait, that might be going too far back, and what could I actually tell you about my birth, right? So then, let’s get started with somethings I can talk to you about….

812 Morton St. is where my story will begin, a three story home my mother owned and rented to two other families and we lived there as well. For the most part my childhood was uneventful, but as I related to my surroundings are where the stories began and the fruits of my writing career. The details of my home which had the biggest impact on my life included the basement, the porches (front/back), and the heavy iron wood door that kept strangers out who were unfamiliar with the living arrangements from being in the know unless we allow them access.

I know you are dying for me to start with the basement because its bringing up scary thought for you too, and you want me to get this part over, so here it goes…In order to get to the basement, one was thrown into an abyss of darkness until you could figure out how to illuminate their surroundings. For me who since three has dealt with sight problems you can imagine my concern with darkness. Plus I was a big scaredy cat anyway whose shadow cast images that would send my thoughts over the edge and to move was not even an option. To add to the apprehension the safety of the stairs leading down was always in question because although there was a hand rail you could fall through an opening that was secured by nothing. When you finally made it to what I call the dungeon of darkness, there were all these different cubies of scariness that one could get petrified in. There were three monstrous furnaces that towered over me and I would run past afraid of being touched by one. Now the sounds were overly loud or eerily quiet both as you can guess were unnerving because in both instances you were waiting on something or someone to happen by. Remember this perspective is from a much younger me. And my fears were so real, I carried some of them into adulthood of course not the fears about the basement, but a major fear that has limited my living is my lack of confidence in my own ability to overcome. But I find myself, discovering ways to overcome each day there is breath in my lungs. Okay, as you have guessed there are life lessons that can be learned with each live action circumstance that we encounter. Okay, next, the porches that served to fuel another insider trade off, so stay tuned for the next episode.

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ALL OR NOTHING

It has been said to me as it relates to relationships, matters of the heart, and abandonment I am very clear that mistakes cannot be made when loving me. How dare you even try and come at me with such a lame excuse in why you failed to love me properly. Love is supposed to calm the soul and stimulate the mind. So why then are you coming to me, with a half-hearted proposal of loving me? There is nothing I will ever beg for when it comes to love because if you don’t give it willingly me demanding it will only end in someone getting hurt.

The symptom of a heart unfulfilled causes your journey to be unbearable. There is no way you will be allowed to live comfortably when you have made my life one I no longer recognize or realize is worth living without your form of love I am accustomed to.

The heartbreak is real and if I could cause you pain without getting caught I would. And now what of trust? You wait to say, “I made a mistake I still want you beside me on my journey through this maze called living.” But how do I trust the word of a liar who said, “I will love you as long as I breathe.” Oh, wait these words of forgiveness is what I seek, search, and want to share, but you are not offering. I feel like an idiot because I am actually waiting on you to forgive my betrayal and you are the one who wants out.

It is just amazing how when love is consuming you want to hold on to anything that keeps you connected to the object of your affection. The danger can be the tightness in which you want to hold on. Sometimes the best answer is to leave some of the emotions out of your decisions, and you then can use the rash mind to decide how to calm the ego, and that’s really what it’s about. Not wanting others to know or see you walking alone because then an explanation will be demanded and an answer you might not have.

Okay, take it from someone whose cried, screamed, begged, demanded or just got over an evaporated relationship, you do find a way to love over it and not become bitter (if you choose to). All is not right in the universe, but you can still walk in victory by trusting yourself to the one who created the universe.

Copyright 2017 Pew Partners/P.M. Mathis

I have been out of commission for way too long, and I apologize for my lack of attention to my blog.  Please allow me to make amends by starting over. Thanks

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A CONVERSATION CONSERVE VS LIB

Conserve-holding to traditional attitudes and values and cautious about change or innovation, typically in relation to politics or religion 

Liberal-open to new behavior or opinions and willing to discard traditional values concerned mainly with broadening a person’s general knowledge and experience given and used, or occurring in generous amounts. 

The conversation maybe needed an understanding of what it means to be Conserve or Liberal. Is it not tiresome to keep having the same conversations with no new results? Why push your views on someone else rather than coming to an understanding and then working together? 

There is nothing more frustration as a citizen of the USA then to comprehend how divided the two parties are that represent its people. My disdain is the fact that we ae center stage of a worldview that cannot get it together enough to support one another through this rocky road of distasteful bickering. 

Sometimes it’s that nonsense everyone understands and no one wants to address the money in the room going haywire. There is no coming to any understanding of the views others have. Just a demand to be right which looks like a child throwing a tantrum know what I mean? 

Should we not have compassion others trying to convey their thought process without judging it as wrong? Should we not honor people’s rights to be different than you? Is that who we are as an American people or do we become who other countries consist of a dictatorship? Democracy is great if ever one has the opportunity to be themselves and leave the judgement to the judge who is right every time-God. 

The division is wide and so the median is too great for the compromise. How is this right? America is made up of so many cultures and the color is so amazing. Yet rather than recognize the difference of its people, America has become this grand divide of Conserve and Lib. Can’t we just get along-Remember Rodney King’s speech. 

I am learning just like you so keep reading. We need to come to a common ground to get out of the eyesight and conversations where our counter parts might miss judge our actions that keep us separate yet equal-Please understand this separate but equal. 

There will always be mixture of Conserve and Lib working within an individual. Just like there is good and evil in everyone depending on day and circumstances is when you many see one or the other, but does that make that person bad? There is no order of protection in division. To honor another person’s right to choose for themselves must stay in place in some instances. But let’s not go overbroad demanding what you should not ask for. 

Nothing the world would offer as law that goes against the word of God works for me.

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COVERGIRLS

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“easy, breezy, beautiful…Cover Girl.”

For the love of books

How to teach girls to enjoy ready-

It’s to open the pages of her imagination

For her allow it to be her dream come true

It’s that Prince on white horse

It’s not a damsel in distress

It is that Princess taking charge of her life.

 

It will be in the relationships she develops

She nurtures so make sure the protagist takes care of others or give her an animal something she can hold on to

Her needs will come to life as she witnesses other taking steps to where she wants to go.

The dialogue must hold her attention

She must understand her feeling less than < must never find its way into who she is becoming

Helping her understand what she is good at will make a path seeable.

Her future will be bright when she discovers she has an ally, and to find that in her own hand –power.

There will be no need to put up with what is obviously not going to work

She will know her value comes not from lips, but pages.

She is that natural girl who is easy, breezy; beautiful she is that cover girl.

The door will swing open to an awesome existence that will allow her to believe you can fly (soar)

She can flip through the pages and share her life unfolding

It is the brightness in her eyes as reality is manageable

It is a choice she can make whenever her fancy allows her to.

The picture she sees is a reflection of who she can be

That moment in time that becomes her reality

That hope diamond is found in her hand

She will understand that when she travels she can take others with her.

A book in the hands of a girl is a promise

Of great things to come

Stories to be told

A future to hope for

She is that cover girl who forces her naturally beautiful mind room to speak

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1-2-3 slump in your hump

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How does one overcome the slump in hump day?

First, I would advise starting with a positive attitude about what stage of life you find yourself. Understanding how this will affect your actions, speech, and outlook. It is the clarity in your recovery that grants you the power to understand the unsettled parts in others.

It is true when you hear misery loves company, but refuse to allow the uncertainty within that wants to drown you cloud your judgment. Your life can be a lesson in strength if you forget how you were hurt, ignored, or rejected. That person before you right now did not cause you injury so don’t take it out on them.

Within you is just what the doctor ordered for the patient you did not realize you would have to care for today. But it is okay you are ready, you have been prepared for center stage.

Then I would advise don’t assume you are the answer to every problem you encounter. Really, if your experiences give you nothing to say just be quiet. Silence can be a good companion in situations where your knowledge can not sustain you in a conversation you know nothing about.  It really is okay not to open your mouth then to say something you will regret later.

At times, it can really be uncomfortable dealing with silence, so that is why it is important to get okay in your own space. You then can help others love the skin that they exist in without having to answer for it.

Never explain yourself. You will not please all of the people anyway with your answer. But what others can do, is only assume what your silence means. You will win the war but not engaging in every battle.

Finally, the peace you carry will illuminate and reset the fire in someone’s soul. Because calm is your standard nothing else can exist in your presence.

The idea that calm only exist with you will enable you to reset the chaos for calm that could not present itself without you.

Nothing is more powerful than your ability to remain calm when everything around you is coming unhinged and the stress of it floors the many.

The power vested in me I will bestow on the situation as you follow my peace that calm you hope for will show up to push you through with a revitalized energy.

Thanks

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Inspire Me with Sayings

Healing For a Broken Heart

For ages, songwriters have tried to capture the heart-wrenching feelings that arise from these circumstances with lyrics like, “How I am supposed to live without you when all I’ve been living for is gone?” and “I ‘ll never get over you getting over me;” as well as “You’ve lost that loving feeling.” Yet, these emotions are not articulated as clearly as we often wish they were. Often the pain is so deep and so excruciating that we tend to repress and deny the anguish rather than handle it properly. http://www.knowjesus.com/Dev_heart.shtml

  1. Find hope.

But forgiveness requires hope: believing that a better place exists, that the aching emptiness experienced in your every activity won’t be with you forever… http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/02/18/10-tips-to-mend-a-broken-heart/

  1. Lean into the Tender Place

I know once my heart is opened, I can find the courage to lean into the place where I am broken, to lean into that opening, letting life rush in and touch me there, even though that place is incredibly tender. I’ve discovered over time that the rush of life into the tender place where we are broken is the beginning of resilience. http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/What-to-Do-When-You-Feel-Broken-Mark-Nepo

What is the Heart Chakra?

The energy of the heart chakra is depicted as a deep, emerald green color that ties us to all living things around us. Green is associated with new life and natural surroundings – it is tranquil, yet energized, soothing yet vibrant. The energy produced by the heart chakra allows us to have meaningful relationships and to feel empathy, compassion, passion, forgiveness and caring for other people.  http://www.chakrahealing.com/blog/heart-chakra-healing/

1.    Develop a non-judgmental relationship with your mind

Without addressing a mind run amuck, the chances of skillfully working with your feelings is kind of limited. Spend some time every day, not squashing your icky thoughts and promoting your good ones, but simply watching your mind in a relaxed way—no matter how wild it gets, you can remain steady. This is what meditation teaches you how to do. This is best done through the practice of meditation, instruction. http://susanpiver.com/2010/04/28/3-stages/

Here is my love experience: tried loving men from a place that was empty and commitment was never a possibility, but you could not tell my younger self I was not in love. As I have grown in maturity as it relates to love with God’s help, I gave up trying to love men I should not in order to say “yes” I understood love. I surrendered my need for love and the exploitation of it. And I begin to understand the love God had for me by way of my husband, who spoke to areas that only God knew and could heal. So here is what I chose not to believe, that I was not valuable enough to be loved, by accepting the love offered even if it seemed to be too good to be true. P.M. Mathis www.pewpartners.wix.com/pmmathis

Thanks

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THANKSGIVING

It is what we are supposed to do, but there are too many opinions that could be done without

Choices are not all the time easy, but necessary in order to create the space that keeps you alive

Sometimes it’s just knowing you woke up in your right mind today

Listen to that inner voice that speaks loudly and quietly at times

Create the music you dance to

Let no one set limits on your accomplishment or the places you will go

Your able-bodiness, is the rest you have the resolve to get up each morning

In your life make sure you are the one giving at-a-boys to yourself because you will know the mind set behind the compliment.

Thanks

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BODY SOURCE

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Mental and physical walk together to keep one another company

Main objective is to be healed that way I am in love with me, I like me, and I deserve celebrating

When it comes to recognizing your own greatness, you have to look beyond the mirror

Dancing in and out of a problem won’t fix it only prolongs the thing you will have to eventually fix

Why not look at the source of the problem, and dig out the core of the pain that hinders you?

Even if you don’t like to be touched mentally, or physically by others, allow yourself the freedom to love, to question the situation, or to release certain people (with the phase it’s not you, but me.)

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