Now the door could only protect if you knew harm was approaching and to let it in would forever change your view of the world. I felt safe knowing I even at my age had the ability to say yes or no to someone coming into my safety haven, but what happens when evil portrays itself as someone you can trust?
The introduction of my mother’s second husband was one of okay, this guy is alright. But alcohol, is never the cure of what ails you it only masks your evil if what you hide is anger. For my mother who had left her home-Alabama to create a better life for herself at twenty-one, I am sure never assumed domestic violence would be a chapter in her story. Here is what could have happened, my mother could have lost her life in that basement that I feared, but what did happen is twenty-one stab wounds, and her life being spared one night when that stranger within her husband was released. So although that door of security kept out those clear and present dangers, but how does one discover evil that appears kind and caring?
Forgiveness of my mother’s abuser was hard and to remember this part of my life is not easy, but it has had a profound effect on how I deal with a man’s anger. I will never allow a man to think I am afraid of him because fear was a down fall I feel my mother possessed. I just have to keep forgiveness at the forefront of my mind, so I can continue on this journey of self-growth so I can help someone else find their way through some of life’s disappointments. I hope you continue to walk with me on my journey of self-awareness.
Copyright 2017 Pew Partners/ P.M. Mathis
The porches were my outlet for the creative side to offset the fears that consumed the mind of a child. Because of the security of our home, in the summer we (my cousin, who is four months older, and I) were allowed to camp on the front porch. Although there were so many instances where safety was an issue, being able to have the opportunity to camp outside was a treat not that I feel that way as an adult though. You probably wonder does this lady still have her spark of imaginative creativity, why yes, I do which is evident I hope in the repainting my childhood for you. To gaze up at the sky at night was magical not that stargazing was necessary an option with all the street lights, but being outside did lend to creating a mindset of adventurous living.
I could leap tall buildings in my mind, at times I actually could, off the back porch (what thought became my reality) it did allow me to jump onto the roof of a storage building in the back yard. I know you might think really this noncountry girl actually use to like the outdoors? The answer would be, yes, and don’t forget about climbing fences and playing in the dirt to create my own special brand of the pie. To offset fear you must create a “you” that whether imaginative or for reals can defeat the dragon while creating your escape route which I have done through my writing. Now onto the final piece of the pizza pie, the security that housed my fears and joys as a young person the heavy wood and iron door that was the protection against seen and unseen occurrences. I am sure you won’t want to miss the conclusion to know a part of your local indie author, so stay tuned.
Copyright©2017 Pew Partners/P.M. Mathis
My inspiration for this piece is the show Wahlburgers the reality show that takes place and is location live centered on Dorchester, MA. I feel somewhat home sick even though I am thirty-one years removed from home. Just the fact of feeling you cannot go home again makes me long for the sights and sounds that my childhood centered around. I will only give three episodes from my childhood because I know you have other things you want to get involved in today. I am honored though you want to know about little old’ me. Well, I was born in 1971. Oh wait, that might be going too far back, and what could I actually tell you about my birth, right? So then, let’s get started with somethings I can talk to you about….
812 Morton St. is where my story will begin, a three story home my mother owned and rented to two other families and we lived there as well. For the most part my childhood was uneventful, but as I related to my surroundings are where the stories began and the fruits of my writing career. The details of my home which had the biggest impact on my life included the basement, the porches (front/back), and the heavy iron wood door that kept strangers out who were unfamiliar with the living arrangements from being in the know unless we allow them access.
I know you are dying for me to start with the basement because its bringing up scary thought for you too, and you want me to get this part over, so here it goes…In order to get to the basement, one was thrown into an abyss of darkness until you could figure out how to illuminate their surroundings. For me who since three has dealt with sight problems you can imagine my concern with darkness. Plus I was a big scaredy cat anyway whose shadow cast images that would send my thoughts over the edge and to move was not even an option. To add to the apprehension the safety of the stairs leading down was always in question because although there was a hand rail you could fall through an opening that was secured by nothing. When you finally made it to what I call the dungeon of darkness, there were all these different cubies of scariness that one could get petrified in. There were three monstrous furnaces that towered over me and I would run past afraid of being touched by one. Now the sounds were overly loud or eerily quiet both as you can guess were unnerving because in both instances you were waiting on something or someone to happen by. Remember this perspective is from a much younger me. And my fears were so real, I carried some of them into adulthood of course not the fears about the basement, but a major fear that has limited my living is my lack of confidence in my own ability to overcome. But I find myself, discovering ways to overcome each day there is breath in my lungs. Okay, as you have guessed there are life lessons that can be learned with each live action circumstance that we encounter. Okay, next, the porches that served to fuel another insider trade off, so stay tuned for the next episode.
Copyright©2017 Pew Partners/P.M. Mathis