Life Ends, And?
What would I have said to my mom if I had, had the chance? Would it have been mom I don’t want you to die, that would have been selfish knowing how sick and how painful her illness was. I love you but of course she already knew that. Why you? And what would I have expected her to answer, I don’t know baby. God is punishing you and why? She would have said no God is not the cause of her suffering he is her savior and her source of strength and survival. I wish I could do something to ease the suffering but of course she knew that. So what then would be the proper course of action? Even if I could have come up with an answer it would have fallen on deaf ears because she was unable to recognize her children because the medication for pain was her comfort. Therefore the illness, consumed her. There was no liveliness in her eyes. Her every breath seemed to hurt. Her ease came when she stopped breathing. Unbeknownst to my mother life left and death became her savior. No alarm in her passing, no struggle to keep her here. Her readiness was unspoken and yet recognizable to the ones she left behind. She left this world the way she came into it surrounded by love. Wake up mom. Since it was not just a bad dream, my life was altered that day. And like all those things that you just think you cannot live over, I am here living, loving, and missing my mother every day.
www.pewpartners.wix.com/pmmathis
may u be God’s reflection #urgodslovestory
words for the heart:
Daddy Issues 101 